Finding YOU Again: Rediscovering Your Identity While Navigating New Parenthood By: Roots & Branches Wellness

Let’s talk. You know that feeling when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror during a 3 AM feeding session and think, "Who IS this person?" You're not alone. Between the milk stains, the exhaustion, and the constant mental load of keeping this tiny human alive, it's totally normal to feel like you've lost yourself somewhere along the way.

Becoming a parent is like becoming a new person overnight. You’ve basically birthed two different people in one day and one of them is you. One day you're the marketing manager who loves weekend brunches, and suddenly you're "baby's mom" who hasn't had a hot meal in weeks. It's a lot.

Why This Identity Shift Hits So Hard

Parenthood doesn't just change your schedule—it reshapes everything:

Your old routine? Gone. Remember when you could just decide to grab lunch with a friend or binge-watch a show? Now even a shower requires strategic planning. It's like your pre-baby life was written in pencil, and someone came along with a giant eraser.

The pressure is REAL. Society expects you to nail this parenting thing while somehow maintaining your career, your relationship, your friendships, AND your sanity. Meanwhile, you're googling "Is it normal for my baby to..." at 2 AM while your coffee gets cold for the third time today.

Your wins look different now. Pre-baby you might have measured success by work achievements or personal goals. Now you're celebrating things like "the baby latched without crying" or "I managed to eat lunch with both hands." And sometimes it feels like even those small wins are hard to come by.

Here's what we want you to know: feeling disconnected from your pre-parenthood self isn’t a mark of failure. It means you're human, and you're adjusting to one of the biggest life changes possible.

Small Steps to Reconnect With Yourself

Luckily, you don't need to overhaul your entire life to start feeling more like YOU again. Think small, think doable:

Claim your micro-moments. We're talking seriously tiny here—like savoring that first sip of coffee before the baby wakes up, or taking three deep breaths before you get out of the car. These little pockets of intentional time can feel surprisingly grounding when everything else feels chaotic.

Reimagine your passions. Love reading but can't find time to sit with a book? Try audiobooks during feeding sessions or while pushing the stroller. Miss cooking elaborate meals? Find one simple recipe that makes you feel nourished. Find new ways to honor who you are.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect. That Instagram-worthy nursery? Not necessary. Gourmet meals every night? Nope. Your worth as a parent (and as a person) isn't measured by how Instagram-perfect your life looks. Sometimes frozen meals and good enough is exactly what your family needs.

Use your village. Whether it's your partner watching the baby while you take a bath, your mom bringing dinner, or a friend who doesn't mind if you're wearing yesterday's shirt—let people help. You don't have to carry it all alone.

Check in with yourself. Even just five minutes of journaling or quiet reflection can help you process this massive transition. Ask yourself: What brought me joy before, and how might I experience that now? What parts of my pre-baby self do I want to hold onto?

Embracing Who You're Becoming

Rediscovering yourself as a parent won’t look like getting back to who you were before. It's about making space for who you're becoming—someone who can love fiercely, function on minimal sleep, and somehow keep a tiny human alive and thriving.

You're not losing yourself in motherhood; you're expanding yourself. Some days that expansion feels overwhelming, and other days it feels like a superpower. Both are completely valid.

The journey matters more than the destination. There's no finish line where you suddenly have it all figured out. Showing up for yourself (even in small ways) while you're in the thick of this beautiful, exhausting season will help you connect with yourself.

If you're struggling with these big identity shifts—or if the feelings of disconnection are feeling too heavy—please know that support is available. Sometimes talking to someone who really gets it can make all the difference in helping you navigate this transition with more confidence and less overwhelm.

Remember: You're still you. You're just you with some pretty incredible new superpowers. And even on the hard days (especially on the hard days), you're doing better than you think you are.

If you're looking for more support during your postpartum journey, don't forget to check if your insurance covers lactation consultations or other postpartum services. Sometimes the help you need is more accessible than you realize.

Roots & Branches Wellness is a therapy practice located in Lehi, Utah. We specialize in maternal mental health and life transitions. If you are looking for support, reach out to us. We’d love to meet with you and we provide free 15-minute consultations. 

For more information on Roots & Branches, follow us on Instagram @roots.branches.wellness.com or go to our website, www.rootsbrancheswellness.com.