The Emotional Side of Breastfeeding: How a Doula Can Help You Cope

Written for Breezy Babies by Kylee Alejandre, Certified Birth Doula, Postpartum Doula, Childbirth Educator and CEO of Doulas of Utah

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as a magical bonding experience between parent and baby. While this can be true, it’s equally important to acknowledge that breastfeeding can also be emotionally challenging. For many parents, the journey is marked by frustration, guilt, anxiety, and moments of self-doubt. These emotions are valid and natural, and they don’t mean you’re failing. With the right support, like that of a doula, you can navigate these feelings and find joy in your breastfeeding journey.

The Emotional Challenges of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding isn’t always as intuitive as it’s made out to be. For some parents, latching issues, milk supply concerns, or physical discomfort can lead to feelings of frustration. You might find yourself wondering, “Why isn’t this working?” or feeling like you’re not measuring up to societal expectations.

Guilt is another common emotion, especially if breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned. Some parents may feel guilty for supplementing with formula, deciding to stop breastfeeding, or simply not loving the process as much as they thought they would. These feelings can be compounded by external pressures or unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and family.

Anxiety can also creep in, whether it’s about whether your baby is getting enough milk, the logistics of pumping at work, or navigating breastfeeding in public. For some parents, these worries can overshadow the experience and add unnecessary stress during a time that’s already full of adjustments.

How a Doula Can Help

Doulas are uniquely equipped to support you through the emotional ups and downs of breastfeeding. Their role goes beyond practical assistance; they offer a compassionate, non-judgmental presence that helps parents feel heard and understood. Here’s how they can make a difference:

1. Creating a Safe Space for Your Emotions

Doulas understand that breastfeeding isn’t just a physical process—it’s an emotional one, too. They provide a safe, judgment-free space where you can express your fears, frustrations, or triumphs. Whether you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy or simply need to vent about a difficult day, your doula will listen with empathy and offer reassurance.

2. Offering Tailored Support

Every parent and baby pair is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Doulas take the time to understand your individual needs, offering personalized strategies and encouragement. They’ll remind you that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to breastfeeding and that your journey is valid no matter what it looks like.

3. Providing Hands-On Help

While doulas aren’t typically lactation specialists, they often have foundational knowledge about breastfeeding. They can assist with positioning, latch techniques, and other basic troubleshooting. Their guidance can help alleviate some of the initial frustrations and give you a strong start.

When to Refer to an IBCLC

There are times when breastfeeding challenges require the expertise of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Doulas are skilled at recognizing when it’s time to bring in this additional layer of support.

If you’re experiencing persistent pain, latch issues that don’t improve, concerns about milk supply, or other complex challenges, your doula can help connect you with an IBCLC. They’ll guide you toward a specialist who can provide targeted solutions, ensuring you get the expert care you deserve.

This collaboration between doulas and IBCLCs is a powerful combination. While the doula focuses on emotional and practical support, the IBCLC addresses the clinical side of breastfeeding, giving you a comprehensive support system.

Breastfeeding with Confidence and Compassion

Navigating the emotional side of breastfeeding can feel overwhelming at times, but you don’t have to go through it alone. A doula’s compassionate presence can make a world of difference, helping you process your emotions, celebrate your victories, and find peace in your journey.

At Doulas of Utah, we’re committed to supporting parents in every aspect of their transition into parenthood, including the complexities of breastfeeding. If you’re looking for a caring, knowledgeable partner to walk alongside you during this season, we’re here to help. Reach out to us at (801) 871-5389 or info@doulasofutah.com to learn more about how our doulas can support you through pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond.