How Therapy Can Support New Moms During Feeding Challenges By: Sasha Lloyd, PMH-C LCSW (Guest Blog)
Feeding a newborn is one of the most tender, emotional, and vulnerable parts of early motherhood. It’s also one of the most misunderstood. Many new moms enter postpartum with the expectation that breastfeeding will come naturally—and that they’ll do “whatever it takes” to make it work. When challenges arise, the emotional weight can feel crushing.
As a therapist specializing in Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs), I see the same pattern again and again:
A mom starts with strong intentions to breastfeed. It’s harder than she expected. She begins comparing herself to others—friends, influencers, strangers online—and suddenly the pressure grows louder than her own needs. When she questions whether she wants to continue, intrusive thoughts show up quickly: “I’m failing. My baby deserves better. What’s wrong with me?”
Our culture has spent years reinforcing the message that “Breast is Best”—a phrase many moms internalize as an unspoken mandate. While breastfeeding has clear benefits, this messaging often leaves out an important truth: breastfeeding is physically and emotionally demanding, and our society hasn't set up resources for parents to have the capacity, support, or mental health resources to maintain it.
That’s why I deeply believe and advocate for: Fed is Best. You are not a better mother because you breastfeed, and you are not a worse mother if you don’t. You are a good mother because you love your child and make decisions that support your family’s wellbeing—including your own. But also, when taking your medical history as an adult, does your doctor ever ask you if your mother breastfed and for how long?
Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore feeding challenges and the emotions that come with them. Some of the ways therapy supports new moms including normalizing the struggle and difficulties that are incredibly common, yet many moms feel alone in them. Therapy helps normalize these experiences so moms feel less isolated and less ashamed of what they're going though.
Therapy can also help to reduce the temptation to compare yourself to others which lead to spiraling thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. Your therapist can help you identify these comparison patterns and replace them with perspective, self-compassion, and realistic expectations. With many moms developing rigid internal messages like "I should be able to do this," "I'm failing," or "I must keep going even if I'm suffering." Together, you and your therapist will help shift these thoughts toward something more neutral, supportive, and grounded in reality such as "This is hard, and many moms struggle," "I'm allowed to make decisions that support my mental health," or "My baby needs me to be well-not perfect". Neutral reframes open up space for informed, values-driven choices instead of fear-based reactions.
Whether a mom chooses to breastfeed, supplement, pump, exclusively formula feed, or use a combination depends on many factors: physical, emotional, relational, and practical. Therapy supports moms in making decisions based on: their wellbeing, their baby’s needs, their family’s circumstances, their available time and energy—not unrealistic cultural standards.
Feeding your baby is not just a task—it’s an emotional experience tied to identity, expectations, and connection. You don’t have to navigate feeding challenges alone. Therapy can help you feel grounded, supported, and empowered to make choices that truly serve you and your family.
About the Author
Sasha Lloyd, PMH-C LCSW, is a therapist at Reach Counseling and is specializing in perinatal mental health, postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD trauma, and motherhood identity work. She helps new and expecting parents navigate emotional challenges with compassion, evidence-based tools, and a deep belief that every parent deserves support.